Yep, that's right...we gave back the binky. After lots of tears, for me and for Lyla, we decided to surrender to the sleeplessness and give back the pacifier. I gave it all I had (as I am not one to give in easily), but we were not making progress. She never found her fist or thumb to suck on, therefore could not get to sleep except through exhaustion (even when I held and rocked her she was crying because she didn't know how to fall asleep). I kept telling myself that lots of kids don't need to suck to get to sleep, she'll learn after a couple more days...but things were not getting better, they were actually getting worse. Lyla was getting to sleep okay, after rather minimal fussing, but couldn't stay asleep because she was overtired and/or wasn't transitioning through sleep cycles (many of us moms call it the 45 minute intruder). Then the whole process would start over again...adding up to lots of inconsolable crying and tiredness. So, now I am praying that God would continue to light my path in the direction we should go. Do I just continue to play "the binky game" until she has found her hands and has more muscle control in a couple months? Do I play "the binky game" until she can keep it in her mouth better, and replace it herself when it falls out? Maybe I should switch brands of binkies and see if that helps. Ugh! Defeat. I have surrendered to the binky for now, but we'll just have to see who wins this war! (Oh, I should mention that I gave her the binky in the middle of the night, and she slept for six hours last night without me needing to replace it...so maybe she still made some strides toward self soothing during this whole process??)
Oh Kira! Sounds like a couple of long days you've had!! I have no advice for you... just hang in there, and give yourself grace... I'm sure each kiddo is different so you may not have any of the paci issues with Lyla that you had with Evelynn... one can hope, right?!?
ReplyDeleteRansom does well keeping his paci in and he uses Avent ones. I didn't want a paci baby either, but Ransom sleeps through the night most nights and take 2+ hour naps with his... I am a much better mommy with the extra rest. I just limit the use of it to only when he is in bed, and he is 6 months old and I put him in bed completely awake with his paci and he soothes himself to sleep and stays asleep. I was told by someone that at around 9 months old the sucking instinct begins to decrease... I think I am going to try and take it completely away around then, so that I don't have a toddler that is crazy attached to a paci, but we will see how it goes.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness! I'm not a mom so I don't really have any advice to actually go on, but if I were to look at it logically I would say to give it another month or two and then try again. There is something to be said about patience. I'm sure you and Lyla will find a compromise somewhere and match up timelines nicely :)
ReplyDeleteGive yourself a little grace Kira and enjoy that extra sleep.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just saying that because Ainsley goes to sleep with a binky and she's 1. I didn't even know they were bad! Why are they bad?
It's not the binky that is bad. I could care less if my kid has a binky. I just hate going back in all of the time and putting the dang thing back in her mouth when she loses it. It disrupts her sleep and mine!
ReplyDeleteI let Moriah keep her paci until this last New Years (2 3/4 years old). I think I was more attached to the thing than her. I would give it to her when she was fussy and it would calm her and also at bed/nap time and it would quickly start to make her sleepy. I didn't know how to take it away without a big fight so I prayed about it. She got to where she was chewing on them more than sucking on them and it was causing them to get holes in them and almost fall apart so we would throw them away. I told her when the last one was all torn up she would have to throw it away and then be a big girl without a paci. One morning she woke up and said she was ready to throw it away and we had a "Big Girl Princess Party" for her and gave her a few gifts for giving it up and I haven't heard a word from her about needing a paci since then. She even gave up playing with my hair at the same time and I thought that would never happen. God is good even to comfort and to give us peace in what seems to be the littlest things that wouldn't matter to Him, but they do and because He loves us he answers our prayers. Hang in there and pray diligently about it and I believe God will give you understanding and peace about when the appropriate time is to take it away. You may also try a different type to see if she can keep it in her mouth better. I never had luck with the one you use but I also can't think of what kind Moriah used, I think Gerber and they were purple and pink or Blue and yellow. Good luck and I will be praying for you and Lyla!
ReplyDeleteOh Kira, I am praying for you! I remember going through the same battle just a few months ago. I was back and forth pacifier/thumb. I didn't want to use the pacifier but then he showed signs of being a thumb sucker so we tried to push the pacifier (as it would be easier to take away) but by that point he didn't want it. I just had to accept that there was pros and cons to both situations and that his thumb helped him sleep really well and we would fight a bad habit in the future if that arises. Who knows maybe one day he will just be done with it.
ReplyDeleteMy only advice would be if she slept for 6 hours then go with what you are doing, that is good progress. It is hard to admit but I believe they know what they want more than we do (most of the time).
Melanie